How NOT to Do Film Parodies: A Not-so-loving Look at Aaron Seltzer's <em>Date Movie</em>

Ever since the Zucker-Abrahams-Zucker team took a 1950s aircraft-in-peril movie titled Zero Hour and skewered its melodramatic excesses in the now-classic Airplane!, the "film parody" sub-genre of comedy films has spawned hit-and-miss efforts that encompass all kinds of Hollywood genres...action-adventure (Hot Shots!)...spy/war movies (Top Secret!)...teen sex comedies (Not Another Teen Movie)...and horror shlockers (Dracula: Dead and Loving It, Scary Movie 1-3).

Most of these parodies follow the same formula: take familiar character types and situations from the genre you are lampooning, cast popular and semi-popular actors to draw in viewers, then make as many visual or situational references to big films in the above-mentioned genre, adding as many ridiculous touches as you possibly can.

In an ideal situation, as in Airplane! or the older Blazing Saddles and Young Frankenstein, the trick is to have the actors play the roles as straight and seriously as possible while adding the funny dialogue or hilarious visual joke. The juxtaposition of the dry performances and the humorous detail is what makes a film parody work.

Unfortunately, the current batch of supposedly "loving comic tributes" to formula films (including the Scary Movies) tends to focus excessively on the jokes without even asking for performances from the actors. Instead of taking their cues from the ZAZ team or even Mel Brooks and telling the cast to not let audiences know that they are in on the jokes, Jason Friedman and Aaron Seltzer allow Allyson Hannigan, Adam Campbell, Sophie Monk, and their cast-mates to mug, wink-and-nod, and practically shout to the viewer, "Hey, we are making fun of My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Bridget Jones' Diary, Napoleon Dynamite, Shallow Hal, Wedding Crashers, Hitch, When Harry Met Sally, The Bachelor, and even Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith!"

The plot, if you want to call it that, centers on Julia Jones (Hannigan), a seriously overweight girl who falls for the handsome Grant Fockyerdoder (Campbell) when he stops for coffee at her parents' Greek restaurant. In a mish-mash of story points cribbed from Hitch, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, and every mediocre to bad romantic comedy ever made, Julia gets an extreme makeover in what looks like an auto paint and body shop and becomes a sexy slinky "babe" who, after getting engaged to Grant, meets his parents (a wasted Fred Willard and Jennifer Coolidge) and has to contend with his almost-ready-for-porn-movies ex-fiancee Andy (Monk). 

And as viewers of any of the quickly disposable romantic comedies being "skewered" here can tell you, hilarity supposedly arises from a series of misunderstandings, comedic errors, and stereotypical situations where everything goes as predicted no matter what.

Grant Funkyerdoder: [voice-over reading his message to Julia] If you still love me the way I love you, meet me where Meg Ryan met Tom Hanks.
Julia Jones: On the Internet?
Grant Funkyerdoder: [still in voice-over] No, not in "You've Got Mail," in "Sleepless in Seattle."

However, director Seltzer makes the fatal error of focusing way too much on the visual jokes and references to other films and not on the actors' performances. He just takes entire sequences from other films and plops them into Date Movie willy-nilly, without taking any creative risks and adding more bite or naughtiness to them. It's as though he and his writing partner Friedman want to go for easy and cheap laughs without taking any chances.

He also has no, repeat, no sense of comedic timing. In a bit supposedly inspired by Bruce Almighty and There's Something About Mary, the viewer is forced to endure an overly long vignette involving Jinxler the Cat and a toilet. Had it been a quick-and-dirty sort of thing, it might have been funny. However, Seltzer lingers lovingly on this rather off-putting bit for over two minutes of running time.

As much as I enjoy a silly comedy every now and then (Thou shalt not live on action-adventure alone is my moviegoer's motto), and as much as I love even an admittedly in-your-face "stupid humor" film, I'm not amused by most of Date Movie. It's a waste of even Carmen Electra's rather limited talent, and it's waste of time and money.

Alyson Hannigan .... Julia Jones
Adam Campbell .... Grant Fockyerdoder
Sophie Monk .... Andy
Eddie Griffin .... Frank Jones
Meera Simhan .... Linda Jones
Fred Willard .... Bernie Fockyerdoder
Jennifer Coolidge .... Roz Fockyerdoder
Marie Matiko .... Betty
Judah Friedlander .... Nicky
Carmen Electra .... Anne
Tony Cox .... Hitch
Mauricio Sanchez .... Eduardo/Housekeeper
Beverly Polcyn .... Old Cart Woman
Valery M. Ortiz .... Jell-O
Charlie Dell .... Justice of the Peace

Recommended:
No

Suspiria- a Film Between Dreamlike Imagery and Exploitative Shock

This classic tale of witchcraft is the most beautiful horror film I have ever seen. A young American woman Suzy Bannion (Jessica Harper) is accepted to a prestigious dance academy in Germany only to find it is a meeting place for a coven of witches. Based on the essays of Thomas Dequincy’s Suspiria de Profundiis. Director Dario Argento takes the first three essays of “The three mothers,” about ancient and powerful witches who live in various places of the world to spread their evil to create a film like no other. It is like a live-action Disney horror film of brilliant reds, green and blues filling the screen. A voice-over sets the uneasy tone of the film as he tells you over a black screen that Suzy Bannion has taken a plane from New York City to attend an exclusive dance academy in Germany. Suzy Bannion arrives at the airport and steps out into a driving rainstorm to hail a taxi. A cab arrives and there is a language barrier. Suzy shows the driver the schools brochure and she is off to the academy. She arrives at the academy to find a young woman at the doorway, screaming at someone inside. She hears pieces of the conversation, which become a helpful clue after the girl is murdered. The killer chases the girl through a dark forest until she arrives at a friend’s house. The friend tries to calm her down and leaves the girl to meet her death. Suzy immediately notices everyone at the academy look likecharacters from a dark Brothers Grim fairytale. The tall, gangly students are represented in stark angry colored lights. The ballet instructor is dressed all in black. The head mistress is a serious looking woman with bright painted red lips. The servant is a hunchback deaf-mute servant, and the Russian head cook is a knife-wielding lunatic. Suzy falls deeper into the threat of the coven when she suffers a nosebleed in ballet class causing her to collapse. The cause of the nosebleed is explained as a mild internal hemorrhage. Soft blues and pinkish reds represent Suzy, as she seems to float on air when she walks. Her discovery of the secret is handled in a sleep-like haze with red twinkling lights following her as she runs from the dying queen witch in the end. Scary and gory in 1977, the film looks fake and silly by today’s standards. The blood and gore looks like bright melted red crayons or wax. A scene stands out where a student is chased into a room full of piano wire, which doesn’t cut her as she thrashes around in the middle of it. The effect looks as if a giant slinky is attacking her. The film, despite all this is still a lot of fun to see with your friends on a Saturday night with the lights off and lots of popcorn. Digitally re-mastered. Rated R.

Incentive for Hope in the Florida Film & TV Community

source

Florida Film Commissioner and indie feature film maker Paul Sirmons gave an eye opening symposium on the current state of film and television production in the state of Florida on Monday, March 13, 2006 at Full Sail for the Recording Arts in Winter Park, Florida.

In a local production industry that seems to be dwindling away except for the likes of growing production companies like Pink Sneakers Productions and seasoned production groups like Lightship Entertainment, there is a lot to worry about for anyone who makes a living by working in the film and TV business in Florida.

At first glance, it seems like the once booming industry that included Nickelodeon Television, Tom Hank’s From The Earth to the Moon, The Mortal Combat TV show, Parenthood, several other commercial and indie films, and dozens of commercials is all but gone from our neighborhood.

There are several reasons for this: some out of town companies and directors haven’t gotten the best treatment by our studio systems, there have been accounts of mismanagement at certain stages, and talent simply doesn’t want to be here. Their agents, connections, and high paying gigs are in New York and Los Angeles.

Still, anyone who has worked in Florida knows that our crews, equipment houses, stages, and experience rival anything New York and Los Angeles have to offer.

Another major past reason productions chose not to shoot their features in Florida was due to the low tax incentive program offered out of town film and TV industry groups. Up until the last fiscal year (which ended last June) the state of Florida offered a meager tax incentive package that didn’t even amount to 2.5 million dollars. That simply isn’t enough savings for companies.

However, the Florida Film Commission now offers a 10 million dollar tax incentive and, according to Sermons, this has helped the state of Florida attract block buster films including the Transporter 2 which was originally scripted to film in Paris but was re-written to shoot in South Florida.

This is extremely hopeful news to the thousands of film and TV industry professionals working and living in Florida. In fact, hearing the statistics Sirmons shared with the full auditorium at Full Sail dispelled myths and clarified what the State of Florida is doing for the Florida film and TV industry.

Most notably, Sirmons pointed out that quadrupling the recent tax incentive to 10 million has also quadrupled the number of employees hired, the amount of money spent in the state totaling more than 78 million dollars, and the amount of Florida wages totaling approximately 40 million dollars.

Sirmons also pointed out that Governor Jeb Bush can only make suggestions as to what incentives should be in Florida. It is the legislature that approves the final numbers and it is the voter that influences the legislation. If residents of Florida working in the film and TV community do not write their legislators influencing them to increase the amount of tax incentives for incoming and residential productions, then the legislature does not fully recognize or appreciate the need.

The recent increase in Louisiana’s tax incentive program has created thousands of new jobs for that state. In fact, at this time, there are at least 6 films being shot in the “sportsman’s paradise” even after Hurricane Katrina – mainly because their tax incentive is double that of Florida’s.

Sirmons encouraged all members of the Florida film and TV industry to contact their legislators and to support two major industry bills: House Bill 1321 (Representative Don Davis) and Senate Bill 2110 (Senator Burt Saunders).

Traveling with a Baby

baby clothes onsies

Traveling with a baby can be overwhelming. Our economy-sized car is packed when we take a trip with our daughter. Babies need a lot of stuff. The key to traveling with a baby is to have a plan but be flexible enough to deviate from it at any given moment.

When we are planning a trip, always make a list with a baby. Packing for an overnight trip can almost seem like moving when you have a baby. If you do not start a list, chances are good something will be forgotten. I usually start my list a few days before our trip that way I can add to it as I think of needed items. A list does relieve some of the stress of packing.

Put everything that you’ll need for the actual trip in the diaper bag. A few diapers, baby wipes, bottle, extra clothing, and a changing pad are all items that I put in the diaper bag. The diaper bag has a few more items than it regularly does for road trips but makes it easier to locate those essentials rather than having to dig through luggage.

I like to actually pack the baby’s bag before I pack ours. This way I have more time to double check to make sure nothing has been forgotten. There are a lot of things I usually forget to pack for us on a trip, but we can usually manage without it. I have forgotten socks and other small items before, but the thought of my baby doing without something she needs is intolerable. Her luggage comes first.

Plan your stops ahead of time. Although you may have to make more stop depending how the little one is doing, think where you may make planned stops. When traveling to the in-laws, we always plan to stop in this one city at a certain book store. It’s located near the interstate, has clean bathrooms (with a changing station), and nice, comfortable chairs perfect for relaxing and feeding the baby to give her a break from the car seat. If you are going to a route you are unfamiliar with, check for major cities along the way and interstate rest areas.

My baby is great at entertaining herself. Give her a toy, and she is happy for quite some time. Bring along a few extra toys for the road trip. This will ensure a variety and keep her occupied longer.

Some items I like to pack on a road trip when carrying the baby are a flashlight, hand sanitizer, umbrella, a hat, and a fully charged cell phone. I try to think of roadside emergencies and make sure that we are as prepared as can be.

Your trip will take longer when traveling with a baby. All the extra stops can add as long as a few hours to your trip. Plan the literary accordingly.

Traveling with a baby does get easier once you have done a few trips. Our first road trip with the baby was a learning experience. Now it seems like we are old pros. The biggest challenge is packing so prepare. With a little planning, your trip with your baby should be enjoyable and not stressful.