How NOT to Do Film Parodies: A Not-so-loving Look at Aaron Seltzer's <em>Date Movie</em>

Ever since the Zucker-Abrahams-Zucker team took a 1950s aircraft-in-peril movie titled Zero Hour and skewered its melodramatic excesses in the now-classic Airplane!, the "film parody" sub-genre of comedy films has spawned hit-and-miss efforts that encompass all kinds of Hollywood genres...action-adventure (Hot Shots!)...spy/war movies (Top Secret!)...teen sex comedies (Not Another Teen Movie)...and horror shlockers (Dracula: Dead and Loving It, Scary Movie 1-3).

Most of these parodies follow the same formula: take familiar character types and situations from the genre you are lampooning, cast popular and semi-popular actors to draw in viewers, then make as many visual or situational references to big films in the above-mentioned genre, adding as many ridiculous touches as you possibly can.

In an ideal situation, as in Airplane! or the older Blazing Saddles and Young Frankenstein, the trick is to have the actors play the roles as straight and seriously as possible while adding the funny dialogue or hilarious visual joke. The juxtaposition of the dry performances and the humorous detail is what makes a film parody work.

Unfortunately, the current batch of supposedly "loving comic tributes" to formula films (including the Scary Movies) tends to focus excessively on the jokes without even asking for performances from the actors. Instead of taking their cues from the ZAZ team or even Mel Brooks and telling the cast to not let audiences know that they are in on the jokes, Jason Friedman and Aaron Seltzer allow Allyson Hannigan, Adam Campbell, Sophie Monk, and their cast-mates to mug, wink-and-nod, and practically shout to the viewer, "Hey, we are making fun of My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Bridget Jones' Diary, Napoleon Dynamite, Shallow Hal, Wedding Crashers, Hitch, When Harry Met Sally, The Bachelor, and even Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith!"

The plot, if you want to call it that, centers on Julia Jones (Hannigan), a seriously overweight girl who falls for the handsome Grant Fockyerdoder (Campbell) when he stops for coffee at her parents' Greek restaurant. In a mish-mash of story points cribbed from Hitch, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, and every mediocre to bad romantic comedy ever made, Julia gets an extreme makeover in what looks like an auto paint and body shop and becomes a sexy slinky "babe" who, after getting engaged to Grant, meets his parents (a wasted Fred Willard and Jennifer Coolidge) and has to contend with his almost-ready-for-porn-movies ex-fiancee Andy (Monk). 

And as viewers of any of the quickly disposable romantic comedies being "skewered" here can tell you, hilarity supposedly arises from a series of misunderstandings, comedic errors, and stereotypical situations where everything goes as predicted no matter what.

Grant Funkyerdoder: [voice-over reading his message to Julia] If you still love me the way I love you, meet me where Meg Ryan met Tom Hanks.
Julia Jones: On the Internet?
Grant Funkyerdoder: [still in voice-over] No, not in "You've Got Mail," in "Sleepless in Seattle."

However, director Seltzer makes the fatal error of focusing way too much on the visual jokes and references to other films and not on the actors' performances. He just takes entire sequences from other films and plops them into Date Movie willy-nilly, without taking any creative risks and adding more bite or naughtiness to them. It's as though he and his writing partner Friedman want to go for easy and cheap laughs without taking any chances.

He also has no, repeat, no sense of comedic timing. In a bit supposedly inspired by Bruce Almighty and There's Something About Mary, the viewer is forced to endure an overly long vignette involving Jinxler the Cat and a toilet. Had it been a quick-and-dirty sort of thing, it might have been funny. However, Seltzer lingers lovingly on this rather off-putting bit for over two minutes of running time.

As much as I enjoy a silly comedy every now and then (Thou shalt not live on action-adventure alone is my moviegoer's motto), and as much as I love even an admittedly in-your-face "stupid humor" film, I'm not amused by most of Date Movie. It's a waste of even Carmen Electra's rather limited talent, and it's waste of time and money.

Alyson Hannigan .... Julia Jones
Adam Campbell .... Grant Fockyerdoder
Sophie Monk .... Andy
Eddie Griffin .... Frank Jones
Meera Simhan .... Linda Jones
Fred Willard .... Bernie Fockyerdoder
Jennifer Coolidge .... Roz Fockyerdoder
Marie Matiko .... Betty
Judah Friedlander .... Nicky
Carmen Electra .... Anne
Tony Cox .... Hitch
Mauricio Sanchez .... Eduardo/Housekeeper
Beverly Polcyn .... Old Cart Woman
Valery M. Ortiz .... Jell-O
Charlie Dell .... Justice of the Peace

Recommended:
No

Suspiria- a Film Between Dreamlike Imagery and Exploitative Shock

This classic tale of witchcraft is the most beautiful horror film I have ever seen. A young American woman Suzy Bannion (Jessica Harper) is accepted to a prestigious dance academy in Germany only to find it is a meeting place for a coven of witches. Based on the essays of Thomas Dequincy’s Suspiria de Profundiis. Director Dario Argento takes the first three essays of “The three mothers,” about ancient and powerful witches who live in various places of the world to spread their evil to create a film like no other. It is like a live-action Disney horror film of brilliant reds, green and blues filling the screen. A voice-over sets the uneasy tone of the film as he tells you over a black screen that Suzy Bannion has taken a plane from New York City to attend an exclusive dance academy in Germany. Suzy Bannion arrives at the airport and steps out into a driving rainstorm to hail a taxi. A cab arrives and there is a language barrier. Suzy shows the driver the schools brochure and she is off to the academy. She arrives at the academy to find a young woman at the doorway, screaming at someone inside. She hears pieces of the conversation, which become a helpful clue after the girl is murdered. The killer chases the girl through a dark forest until she arrives at a friend’s house. The friend tries to calm her down and leaves the girl to meet her death. Suzy immediately notices everyone at the academy look likecharacters from a dark Brothers Grim fairytale. The tall, gangly students are represented in stark angry colored lights. The ballet instructor is dressed all in black. The head mistress is a serious looking woman with bright painted red lips. The servant is a hunchback deaf-mute servant, and the Russian head cook is a knife-wielding lunatic. Suzy falls deeper into the threat of the coven when she suffers a nosebleed in ballet class causing her to collapse. The cause of the nosebleed is explained as a mild internal hemorrhage. Soft blues and pinkish reds represent Suzy, as she seems to float on air when she walks. Her discovery of the secret is handled in a sleep-like haze with red twinkling lights following her as she runs from the dying queen witch in the end. Scary and gory in 1977, the film looks fake and silly by today’s standards. The blood and gore looks like bright melted red crayons or wax. A scene stands out where a student is chased into a room full of piano wire, which doesn’t cut her as she thrashes around in the middle of it. The effect looks as if a giant slinky is attacking her. The film, despite all this is still a lot of fun to see with your friends on a Saturday night with the lights off and lots of popcorn. Digitally re-mastered. Rated R.

Incentive for Hope in the Florida Film & TV Community

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Florida Film Commissioner and indie feature film maker Paul Sirmons gave an eye opening symposium on the current state of film and television production in the state of Florida on Monday, March 13, 2006 at Full Sail for the Recording Arts in Winter Park, Florida.

In a local production industry that seems to be dwindling away except for the likes of growing production companies like Pink Sneakers Productions and seasoned production groups like Lightship Entertainment, there is a lot to worry about for anyone who makes a living by working in the film and TV business in Florida.

At first glance, it seems like the once booming industry that included Nickelodeon Television, Tom Hank’s From The Earth to the Moon, The Mortal Combat TV show, Parenthood, several other commercial and indie films, and dozens of commercials is all but gone from our neighborhood.

There are several reasons for this: some out of town companies and directors haven’t gotten the best treatment by our studio systems, there have been accounts of mismanagement at certain stages, and talent simply doesn’t want to be here. Their agents, connections, and high paying gigs are in New York and Los Angeles.

Still, anyone who has worked in Florida knows that our crews, equipment houses, stages, and experience rival anything New York and Los Angeles have to offer.

Another major past reason productions chose not to shoot their features in Florida was due to the low tax incentive program offered out of town film and TV industry groups. Up until the last fiscal year (which ended last June) the state of Florida offered a meager tax incentive package that didn’t even amount to 2.5 million dollars. That simply isn’t enough savings for companies.

However, the Florida Film Commission now offers a 10 million dollar tax incentive and, according to Sermons, this has helped the state of Florida attract block buster films including the Transporter 2 which was originally scripted to film in Paris but was re-written to shoot in South Florida.

This is extremely hopeful news to the thousands of film and TV industry professionals working and living in Florida. In fact, hearing the statistics Sirmons shared with the full auditorium at Full Sail dispelled myths and clarified what the State of Florida is doing for the Florida film and TV industry.

Most notably, Sirmons pointed out that quadrupling the recent tax incentive to 10 million has also quadrupled the number of employees hired, the amount of money spent in the state totaling more than 78 million dollars, and the amount of Florida wages totaling approximately 40 million dollars.

Sirmons also pointed out that Governor Jeb Bush can only make suggestions as to what incentives should be in Florida. It is the legislature that approves the final numbers and it is the voter that influences the legislation. If residents of Florida working in the film and TV community do not write their legislators influencing them to increase the amount of tax incentives for incoming and residential productions, then the legislature does not fully recognize or appreciate the need.

The recent increase in Louisiana’s tax incentive program has created thousands of new jobs for that state. In fact, at this time, there are at least 6 films being shot in the “sportsman’s paradise” even after Hurricane Katrina – mainly because their tax incentive is double that of Florida’s.

Sirmons encouraged all members of the Florida film and TV industry to contact their legislators and to support two major industry bills: House Bill 1321 (Representative Don Davis) and Senate Bill 2110 (Senator Burt Saunders).

Traveling with a Baby

baby clothes onsies

Traveling with a baby can be overwhelming. Our economy-sized car is packed when we take a trip with our daughter. Babies need a lot of stuff. The key to traveling with a baby is to have a plan but be flexible enough to deviate from it at any given moment.

When we are planning a trip, always make a list with a baby. Packing for an overnight trip can almost seem like moving when you have a baby. If you do not start a list, chances are good something will be forgotten. I usually start my list a few days before our trip that way I can add to it as I think of needed items. A list does relieve some of the stress of packing.

Put everything that you’ll need for the actual trip in the diaper bag. A few diapers, baby wipes, bottle, extra clothing, and a changing pad are all items that I put in the diaper bag. The diaper bag has a few more items than it regularly does for road trips but makes it easier to locate those essentials rather than having to dig through luggage.

I like to actually pack the baby’s bag before I pack ours. This way I have more time to double check to make sure nothing has been forgotten. There are a lot of things I usually forget to pack for us on a trip, but we can usually manage without it. I have forgotten socks and other small items before, but the thought of my baby doing without something she needs is intolerable. Her luggage comes first.

Plan your stops ahead of time. Although you may have to make more stop depending how the little one is doing, think where you may make planned stops. When traveling to the in-laws, we always plan to stop in this one city at a certain book store. It’s located near the interstate, has clean bathrooms (with a changing station), and nice, comfortable chairs perfect for relaxing and feeding the baby to give her a break from the car seat. If you are going to a route you are unfamiliar with, check for major cities along the way and interstate rest areas.

My baby is great at entertaining herself. Give her a toy, and she is happy for quite some time. Bring along a few extra toys for the road trip. This will ensure a variety and keep her occupied longer.

Some items I like to pack on a road trip when carrying the baby are a flashlight, hand sanitizer, umbrella, a hat, and a fully charged cell phone. I try to think of roadside emergencies and make sure that we are as prepared as can be.

Your trip will take longer when traveling with a baby. All the extra stops can add as long as a few hours to your trip. Plan the literary accordingly.

Traveling with a baby does get easier once you have done a few trips. Our first road trip with the baby was a learning experience. Now it seems like we are old pros. The biggest challenge is packing so prepare. With a little planning, your trip with your baby should be enjoyable and not stressful.

Christmas Light Photography Tips and Advice

Photo Credit: celtics baby clothes

We're out taking photographs of Christmas lights. There are so many beautiful displays, and we want to capture them on film. So as we prepare to take our pictures of Christmas lights, we back away so that we can capture the entire magnificent scene within our frame.

Correct. But also incorrect, if that's all we do. And this leads to our first Christmas photography tip for illustrating Christmas light displays.

(1) The best Christmas lights photography captures not only panoramic scenes, but also close-ups of the highlights within the panorama. We want both. Let's say that on the sprawling front lawn of a suburban home, we see Santa on his sleigh in one location, and a Salvation Army bell-ringer in a second spot, and a nativity scene someplace else. In addition to our distant Christmas photograph, we can also zero in on each of those three highlights.

(2) Opt for a high shutter speed. We want to illustrate the lights, not the light that they emit. A wide angle lens is for the panorama, and a macro lens is for the close-ups.

(3) Those Christmas light displays are so brilliant in the deep, dark, Silent Night. Maybe so, but our Christmas photography will be lousy at that point. Our photos will show the lights, but not the property in the background. Or, we'll see the property but we won't clearly see the lights, so to speak. Our best bets are at dusk or at dawn, and overcast usually is better than clear sky.

(4) If we're really dedicated and sticklers for perfection, we'll shoot our Christmas photography both at dusk and at dawn. Great photography of any sort is trial and error. Furthermore, if we show up maybe a half-hour before the optimal time, then we can plan our logistics and our camera angles, so that we're ready when the time is right. Extra time = excellence in our Christmas photography.

(5) Let's see here. We have the lights. We have the various props that go with the lights, such as the nativity scenes or Santa on his sleigh. We have the property in the background. Aren't we forgetting something? Oh yes, the sky. The sky! Look at examples of Christmas lights photography that impress you (or even thrill you) the most, and odds are that the sky will play a prominent role. Seek an angle at dusk that shows an afterglow in the evening sky. To include more sky, shoot from a low angle, upward toward the Christmas lighting display and toward the sky.

(6) People. Where are the people? Just because your subject is Christmas lights photography, that doesn't mean the scene must be devoid of people. Have some children pose in the scene, or better yet, just tell them to go ahead and frolic. This can add a unique element to your Christmas lights photography.

SOURCES

http://www.intofotos.com/photography/2007/11/10/how-to-photograph-christmas-lights/

http://strobist.blogspot.com/2006/12/how-to-photograph-christmas-lights.html

http://www.slrphotographyguide.com/tips/christmas-lights.shtml

Photographer Interview: Break into Concert Photography

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Anthony Siciliano of Ramsey, NJ, was initially attracted to photography through some playful competition with his friends. Even when he realized his friends had no idea how to use their cameras, he stuck with it and earned recognition in photography and videography.

As a photojournalist and concert photographer his experience is transferring into his newest venture as part of Awesome Farm - a video production and photography business formed with his friends. At least with the friends that know how to use a camera.

Siciliano answered a few questions and gave some advice for fellow photographers looking to break in to photography, specifically concert photography and photojournalism.

What was your first camera?
My first DSLR was a Nikon D80 with the 18-70 mm lens. However, the first point-and-shoot that I bought for myself was a Pentax Optio S-40, which I still have. I really enjoyed taking pictures of flowers, but I was dissatisfied with the performance and results of my point-and-shoot (particularly, the shutter lag). I looked into DSLRs, and ended up purchasing the D80. Thousands of dollars, and much gear later, here I am.

What photographers - well known or unknown - inspire you?
I really have fun with concert photography, live shows where I bring back photos that give you a good sense of what happened during an event. A photographer that does this very well is Todd Owyoung. His website is http://ishootshows.com/. Not only does he get awesome results, but also he shares his wealth of knowledge with everyone, which I respect immensely.

Check out the Strobist blog as well. It features off-camera lighting and lots of DIY equipment at http://strobist.blogspot.com/.

Is there a certain piece of gear you could not live without?
I do not skimp on my gear, and it has definitely paid off. In my opinion, it is better to save up for a longer time and get better equipment, than it is to spend early on something else. Unfortunately, I am addicted to buying new things, which can get very expensive. I could not live without any of this stuff, but if I had to pick one lens, the one that does most of my work is the 18-70mm lens.

Do you have any goals in mind with your photography?
I hope that I will be shooting famous bands very soon. A lot of doing that is getting to know the people who run the events, and the people who manage the bands. So far, the most famous people I have photographed in concert are Kate Voegele, Jack's Mannequin and the rest have been local bands. Currently, I shoot for local newspapers. The pay is not very good, but it is fun and better than nothing at all. Doing this will help me get exposure.

What advice would you give to someone who wants to shoot concerts?
The gear that is best for concert photography, at least in my opinion, is fast lenses and cameras with high ISO abilities. It is deceptively dark inside most music venues. My 50 mm lens does a lot of work there, with its extremely fast 1.8 aperture. My other lenses that go down to aperture 2.8 are extremely important. Large wide-open apertures are important for catching performers in action, without blur. Someone that wants to shoot concerts should definitely invest in a 50 mm lens, and save up to buy other fast lenses. Many places do not allow flash during performances, and your brand-new flash unit will not do any good when security tackles you. Also, watch out for drunken people and mosh pits at shows, which is a good way to wreck your camera.

How did you get a job with your local newspaper? What skills does that require?
When I was doing physical therapy for my tendinitis, I met a photographer who was shooting some photos for a brochure. We got to talking, and she gave me the contact info of a local photo editor. The skill involved in photojournalism is the same most other photographers use, except more irritating. Not only do you have to capture good pictures, but also you have to do it consistently, and make sure you get people's first and last names. If you do not get their names, editors will not use your photos. That can be a big disappointment, after all your hard work. You also have to be versatile and ready for anything. Get to events early and scope things out. that is the best advice I can give. Coming in late and not getting a good spot makes things a lot more difficult.

What advice would you give new photographers?
The best way to learn photography is by doing. When I bought my camera, I barely knew how to use the thing. One great thing I think everyone should do is a Project 365. That is where you take one photo per day (at least) and write a little bit about it on your Flickr account or a photo blog. It will help you learn to shoot in all current situations as well as on days or times where you think a camera might not be convenient to have. Then, at the end of the year, you look back and see how much you have improved, as well as your year in a series of photos. Also, do not forget to take a break when you are post-processing your images. I got a bad case of tendinitis from using the computer too much, and it really puts a kink in your photography.

Where can people see your photography?
Check out my photography on my Flickr site at: http://www.flickr.com/photos/scis/ and soon at www.awesomefarm.com.

Starting Your Own Professional Photography Business

source,photo source

So now you have the desire and determination to make it work, but what will you do? Photography is your passion, or is it? There are hundreds of photographers out there no matter where you live; what makes you so different from all the other photographers?

* Do you have the unique style necessary to attract the crowds to your camera?

* Can you survive in the cut-throat business of shooting day in and day out whoeversteps in front of your camera?

* Are you original and creative enough to think of different poses, create various styles of portraits of babies, families, couples and single people and still think sanely?

If you answered these questions positively, you may be on your way but that’s not all it requires. Though photography seems a fairly easy business where in movies and television you see a young man photographing beautiful women in studios or on exotic locations, selling all the images to magazines or having huge billboards displaying his pictures, that’s just a dream. Reality can be quite different from what many think of this profession.

It takes more than a fancy camera in this day and age to make a person buy your pictures, let alone to make a business out of it, surviving on income made with your photography. If you live in Spain or anywhere else, if there’s other photo studios then you’re competing against those already established with a good clientele. How can you compete against them?

Here are some recommendations to help you build your dream of working as a photographer:

a.       Create an unique style that stands out from the other photographers

b.      Be professional at all times

c.       Display only your best images to possible clients and change these often

d.      Offer specials to advertise yourself and your photography

e.       Have exhibits of your photography to help spread word of your new business

f.        Be patient and be sure to have a good supply of backup funds in the case they don’t come

Let’s discuss the above points….  This will help you to understand how to succeed.

Look at those you will be competing against; what do they offer in their photographic services? Can you offer the same or more? Most importantly, how does your style of capturing a scene or a face stand up against theirs? You will need to establish that style before you can start with a business. Be sure in what you do and do only that.

When you work with a client, you must maintain a professional environment at all times. In my many years behind a camera, I have seen amateurs make many mistakes during events, weddings and other assignments. In some cases, it wasn’t a mechnical or technical error but a public relations mistake – some people just don’t know how to work with the public. If you do the same, you will not last for very long. While people talk a lot of good images, they talk even more about how terrible a session was. You don’t want that type of advertisement. Research your assignments, know the light. If you have new equipment, then be sure you know what they can do and how you can use it. There’s nothing worst than finding out the hard way a flash or a new lens isn’t completely “right” in your hands.

Advertising yourself is the most important thing you can possibly do; no matter how good (or bad) you think you are, if nobody knows of your services or product, then you wont sell many if at all. When you display a poor image, then others will see the faults also – never display an image that is in bad taste. Show only your best work and watch people contact you. If they see bad results, they will stay away. Your best form of advertisement is word-of-mouth from a satisfied client!

While you may be one who doesn’t believe in the “store specials”, this method of advertising does work, and you can make it work to your benefit. A special attracts people who normally wouldn’t buy a product but does due to the price offer, or does buy and sees a special pricing as a reward for their loyalty. Act on that thought and you will see more customers contacting you!

Many people go to art exhibitions to see art – when this exhibit involves portraits of people for example, it can draw in customers from a different area you never thought possible. While many go for two main reasons – to see art and enjoy it, or to buy art for themselves – having an exhibit consisting of portraits for example, encourages possible interest in becoming a subject for your camera. It also works in a different direction, establishing your track record and building on your resume to show people interested in your experiences and awards, etc. in photography.

Lastly, starting a business is not easy or as “easy” as you may think photography may be. This profession is no exception to the rule. These days everyone having a digital camera makes them a “photographer”. Who will pay you to create their memories to last a lifetime? Before you actually start your new life in photography, be sure to have a good sum of reserve cash banked away to maintain your living expenses through the lean months – if that is the case. In most new businesses, the first two years can be the hardest and patience can save your sanity! The biggest mistake here is that after two or so years of little or no business, new businesses will close, but that is wrong! That’s the worst time to close as now you already have yourself in people’s minds: seeing the storefront, knowing you’re a photographer, etc. stick it out just a bit longer!

Tips for Your Commercial Photography Portfolio

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A great commercial photography portfolio is your calling card in the industry, and your ticket to winning clients and landing jobs as a professional photographer. Read on to learn 3 key tips that will help make your commercial photography portfolio shine, so prepare to start getting the gigs you need to advance your career. These commercial photography portfolio tips will take your clips to the next level, so that you can scale the ladder to your dream job.

1. Offer Your Commercial Photography Portfolio In A Variety Of Formats

When you hand out your commercial photography portfolio, one of the things it is crucial to communicate to a client is that when they hire you, you will do everything you can to make his or her life easy. You want to be seen as professional and responsive, and as someone who proactively anticipates your client's needs. One great way to make this impression fast is to have your commercial photography portfolio available in a number of formats, including in print, on CD, and online, as AllArtSchools suggests. When you follow this advice and have print, digital, and virtual clips available, your first question to a client can always be "What's easiest for you?", a sentence that will be music to any prospective employer's ears.

2. Pitch Your Commercial Photography Portfolio Directly To The Job At Hand.

Instead of having one commercial photography portfolio, have several, one targeted to each kind of work you're hoping to do in your career. Have you taken some gorgeous nature images? That's great, but a client who's hiring for a fashion shoot won't care! A prospective employer will hire the person who seems most likely to do a great job on the specific project at hand, so make sure everything in the commercial photography portfolio you hand to a possible client is directly relevant to the task they'll need you to do. Try doing as PhotoCritic suggests, and put together a portfolio of just your fashion work, another that highlights your nature shots, another for photos you've taken of products, and so on for each genre you've got clips for, and are seeking work in. That way, as you move forward in applying for a variety of jobs, you'll always have your most specifically relevant work at your fingertips, ready to impress your next boss.

3. Include The Right Written Information In Your Commercial Photography Portfolio.

As Marketing For Photographers and Photography points out, you don't need to include much written information in your commercial photography portfolio. However, what you do put in can make or break a client's interest in your work. By reducing the amount of text, you help keep your prospective employer engaged with the images you're presenting, which is the goal of your commercial photography portfolio. You don't need to put forward the technical information for each picture, like your equipment choices or shutter speed, because the client only cares about your end result, not about the road you took to get the shot. You should offer a brief description of what each picture is, to provide some context, and a clean, professional, and specific title for each shot, so that it's easy for clients to reference a particular image in your commercial photography portfolio when they're in discussion with you, or with any colleagues who may be involved in making the decision to hire you.